I’ve read LOTS of blogs (about fifty-six a day, now) and I’ve noticed a trend in how people put together personal blogs:

1.  Tell your readers about getting the kids ready for the day.
2.  Take a picture of the muffin you made for breakfast.
3.  Insert snarky comment about somebody you met, avoided or ran over with your SUV.
4.  Take a picture of your kid(s), who’s annoyed that you keep taking pictures of him/her every single morning.
5.  Tell your readers that you have trouble finding things to blog about.
6.  Wait six to ten days and blog again.

Here’s an idea for all you bloggers out there who want to share your boring days with us…

Unless you have something terribly exciting, funny, erotic or depressing to share, don’t share.  We’ve got lots of boring magazines, books and TV shows where we can see and read the same annoyingly average stories (with, usually, prettier people).  Don’t share them on some self-important blog and then wonder why no one ever reads it.

No one visits your blog for the same reason no one visits your house unless there’s a special occasion:  because your life is boring!  Go get kidnapped or something and then come back and tell us about it.

Better yet, if you decide to keep blogging about how Jimmy got a peanut M&M stuck in his nose and how cute it was that everytime he sneezed it sounded like “snarfff”, then please, please, please get yourself kidnapped.  Just forget coming back to tell us about it.

(My only exception is you, Breakfast Blogger.  Your stuff is cool.)