I guess I picked the right picture of Robin from his website based on the comments the post, titled Tim and Robin Discuss “Funeral Home Blogging”, has generated.

Here’s a selection of the things readers have been saying:

“Wow, what a strikingly handsome fellow that Robin Heppell is!”

“He can give me business advice anytime.”

“I feel almost embarassed to say it, but that Mr. Heppell is a strikingly handsome man. Thank you for sharing his picture!”

And for those of you who can’t get enough of Mr. Heppell, here’s another shot:

Flickr user, Intimaj shares this photo from the family album.  See more sizes here.

  This interesting-sounding game (I haven’t played it yet) is described as:

The Graveyard is a very short computer game designed by Auriea Harvey and Michaël Samyn. You play an old lady who visits a graveyard. You walk around, sit on a bench and listen to a song. It’s more like an explorable painting than an actual game. An experiment with realtime poetry, with storytelling without words.

The trial version sounds nice, but the full version ($5 pricetag) adds just one dimension:  the lady can die.

Basically, every time you play the full version, she may die.

Hmmmmm….

This is a picture of my brother, Lynn, Jr. and my sister, Crystal.  The looks on their faces are because I’ve just told them something COMPLETELY stupid and then snapped a picture.  I like the shot, because it captures the way they look at me most of the time!

The guy to the right, Robin Heppell of the Funeral Futurist, and I recently spent 40 minutes discussing the future of the funeral industry and the Internet, and how the industry can use blogging to market services right now.

You can hear our interview on The Funeral Futurist website in a post titled, Blogging for Funeral Homes with Tim Totten.

After that interview, I also spent 15 minutes chatting with a gentleman from American Funeral Director Magazine (the one published by Kates-Boylston).

He wanted to discuss how funeral homes can use blogs to better connect with a community and a general funeral audience.

Here’s a super-simplified version of my thoughts on funeral blogging:

1.  Blogs are, at the very least, a place to practice your pitch and interaction with clients for free.
2.  A blog can be a free online obituary listing for your firm.
3.  Blogging reveals your true voice, which lets people see the “real you.”
4.  Blogging focuses your thoughts.
5.  Blogging can create a few evangelists or “true fans” who will help spread the word about you to the community.
6.  Blogging connects you to the tech-savvy members of your community.

For more, listen to the Funeral Futurist interview or check out an upcoming issue of American Funeral Director.

I like finding interesting uses of Internet technologies, because they reinforce my belief that the Internet is changing our world in a BIG way.

And while this may not yet be evident in the funeral industry, it is affecting others.

Like the storytelling world, where this new story is told with Google Maps: 

The 21 Steps by Charles Cumming

A recent email conversation with a Final Embrace blog reader has revealed the age old wisdom that some of us have forgotten:  every business needs an attorney.

This funeral director, who I won’t name until he shares the outcome of the legal matter, asked me for an opinion on whether he should hand over funeral arrangement paperwork (contract, embalming authorization, etc.) to the attorney representing his client family in a wrongful death lawsuit.

Concerned that he might damage his relationship with the client family or be included in the lawsuit himself, he wanted to figure out what to do as quickly as possible, so as to lessen any impact it might have on his community standing.

Unfortunately, the issue was clouded by the law firm which requested, in addition to these documents, that the funeral home lower their bill (for services already provided) by almost 20%. 

The director was, at least in my mind, rightfully unsettled by this request, as he did not cause the death and had a signed contract for the services he provided at the price he quoted.  (I think that the attorney is trying to either free up money to fund his own work or wants to look like he accomplished something for the family to justify his fee.  If he/she operates a “no fee unless you recover money” type practice, this reduction of the funeral service bill might qualify as a “recovery.”)

But because I am not a legal scholar, I suggested that he get an attorney immediately. 

Let’s face it, if a client family turns over their affairs to a lawyer or one of those “consumer reporters,” it’s time for you to add a similar layer of support to your firm. 

Just remember, the best time to choose an attorney is NOT when you need one.  Take some time to audition lawyers now, before you need one.  And make sure you find one who can be there when you need him/her.  Because lawsuits, “Action News Reports” and angry families don’t happen when your schedule is most conveniently organized.

A recent New York Times article points to consumers who have resorted to haggling at big-box retailers, not because they can’t afford the product or service, but because they want to get a good deal.

I’d be surprised if you haven’t seen a few hagglers in the funeral home by now.  You know, the folks who ask for a discount, even though they can afford to pay full price?

In fact, our culture is beginning to encourage people to seek out the best price, especially on products/services where there’s little perceived difference in the end result.

I think this is driven by electronics and other gadgets.  Buying a 10-pixel camera from Ritz Cameras or Best Buy or an Internet retailer will yield huge price differences, even though they all sell the EXACT same camera.

Same with TV’s, new cars and designer clothes.

Pretty soon, Internet-savvy consumers with GPL’s in hand are going to start asking funeral homes why they should pay twice as much as the funeral home down the street charges for the same service. 

If you don’t want people thinking you provide the same service as the discount firm in town, make sure the difference is obvious.

Or, be prepared to haggle with a grieving family.

The City of Eustis (that’s where I live) is celebrating it’s 125th birthday with events all year.

We kicked off the year with the symphony in the park and followed up with an antique boat and car show, had our parade rained on (literally) for Georgefest to celebrate Washington’s birthday and just kicked off our cemetery tours.

How did we decide upon cemetery tours?  During the first brainstorming meeting of the 125th Birthday Committee (how did I get roped in to joining the committee?  I can’t remember that far back!) I suggested cemetery tours.  That’s when the committee voted that I’d be the best person to organize them.

Sometimes, it’s best to keep your mouth shut.

I’m very lucky that our 125th Birthday committee has some of the most dedicated volunteers available anywhere!  Every person I asked to dress in costume for the tours was receptive, which explains the group in the photo above.  From left to right, they are:  William Murphy, Tracy Murphy, Liz Morton, George Shneiger, Karen LeHeup-Smith, Sharron Semento, Betty Ann McClellan, Susan Trewyn, Marcia Arnold and me (Tim Totten).

On each of our first two tour dates, we had 15 members of the public taking part while I shared the history of the cemetery and the founding of the city.  As we went from grave to grave, costumed volunteers stepped forward to tell stories about the individuals who helped shape the early history of Eustis.

Later, we stepped into the 1920’s with our “flapper girl”, Marcia Arnold.  She told us about the roaring twenties in Eustis and Senator William Monroe Igou, who’s buried near this beautiful, Art Deco-style marker:

 We even visited folks from the fifties and sixties and heard about former Eustis police chief Jesse Burrow from a flower child who may have had a few run-ins with the straight-laced police chief.

The response to our first two tours was awesome.  I’ve even got a few attendees who have volunteered to help with the next tour, which is Saturday, April 26 at 4:30 pm.

Who knew that walking through a field of dead people would be so much fun?

Wooden footboards in Greenwood Cemetery, Eustis, Florida.

When we first started to get serious about selling our cot covers to the general public (before that time, we sold through a traveling salesman – you can read that whole saga in the post, “Crippling Challenge + Determination = Business Reward/Failure (Part 1)“) I decided to try eBay as an option.

 EBay allows a seller to setup either auctions or “Buy It Now” links for products for a set fee.  Adding pictures or text to a listing costs a little extra, but for people selling similar items, pictures and enhanced graphic text can be the difference between a sale and wasted money. 

I found the eBay model compelling, since we had no provision for taking credit cards or checks, an eBay store would prevent us from having to build a website and auction-style selling would allow us to sometimes make a lot more for our product.

So we tried it out.

And I thought we had failed miserably.

First, the new “Funeral and cremation merchandise” section on eBay was still quite new, so only a handful of funeral directors were on it.  Second, I listed our product with a $75 opening bid, which was the only bid we ever got.  A funeral home in Oregon got a great cover for a fraction of the regular retail price.  Thirdly, and most importantly, auctions listed with a “buy it now” link cost a lot more than a standard auction, meaning eBay was not, at the time, a viable way for us to build an online store.

So we abandoned it as a platform.  I categorized our time and our single eBay sale as a waste of time and money and promptly forgot about it.

Until last week, when the funeral home that won our only eBay auction called to order another cover.  Suddenly, the $4 we spent to list the item and the $100+ in lost revenue turned into a $225 order.  In fact, the young lady who called indicated that they were getting ready to place an order for several more, just as soon as they saw the new lining in person.

Who knew our failed eBay experience just needed 4 years to turn into a moneymaker?!?

I’ve never lamented our eBay experience, just as I don’t regret the hundreds of dollars I spent mailing postcards to Stewart firms and the time I invested in trying to offer a group discount to SCI’s main office.  None of those efforts paid off, but all were successful, since they taught me what didn’t work.

I’m often asked why I am successful, when so many businesses fail.  I can only say that while I’ve failed plenty, I also know when to quit and go for the next thing and I never give up.  Imagine if I’d let our eBay experience convince me that there wasn’t an online demand for quilted mortuary cot covers?  Imagine if I’d let 200 unanswered postcards discourage me against direct mail selling to funeral homes?

The woman pictured here, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, is a neuroanatomist who felt led to study the brain because of her brother’s schizophrenia. 

In an exciting video from TED.com, she describes how a stroke she experienced when she was 37 years old and the 10-year recovery that shaped her understanding of the brain.  Here’s how the TED people describe it:

Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened — as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding — she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.

Her description of right-brain only existence sounds much like the descriptions of folks who claim near-death experiences. 

Enjoy her story.  It’s quite funny (yeah, funny!) and, near the end, both incredibly moving and uplifting. 

You can buy her book and read more of her story on her personal website.

A recent article, “Is the Future Really So Grim?” by Michelle Carter elicited a reasoned response from Dale Clock of the Life Story Network of funeral homes.  Here’s how Michelle responded to his remarks:

I agree with what you’ve said- it is going to be a challenge. I am a bit familiar with the Life Story network, and it seems as though our philosophies and the services we offer are quite similar.

As for the impact all of this work and innovation is having on funeral directors, I think we’re going to have to find a balance between what we’re willing and able to do on our own, what we can farm out, and what we’re simply not able to do.

Here in NY, it’s both a blessing and a curse that we’re not legally allowed to serve food or drinks in the funeral home. Organizing a reception for me usually just involves a few phone calls.

I served my residency at an independent firm that handled nearly 600 calls the year I was there. I was on call 6 days/week. I lost count of the number of 12+ hour days I put in, got called out in the middle of the night, only to get little sleep and do it all over again.

We were fortuante enough to have a phenomenal office staff who did a lot of the more time-consuming clerical work, like scanning photos for tributes, ordering supplies, etc.

Now I don’t have that luxury, and I think most of us are in the same boat. We really are going to have to weigh what services we’re willing to offer, can handle offering, and whether the return is worth it. While I may choose to promote certain offerings over others, my families are aware that we can accomodate most requests, or offer a reasonable or even better substiution.

Having to do more with less is a trend that isn’t unique to our industry. After all, we no longer get meals on airline flights, we check out our own items at the grocery store, and fewer social workers are handling a more extensive caseload, etc., etc.

There’s no reason funeral directors have to do more than we’re able or willing to do. If you can’t stand video tributes or hate making memorial candles, then don’t.

But if you don’t offer it, someone else will.

I attended visitation at another funeral home not long ago for a family friend. The deceased’s daughter-in-law had recently lost one of her parents, and she had a DVD tribute made at the funeral home local to her family.

When my family friend died, his family used that other funeral home to create a DVD for this man. Sure, it was less work for the funeral home handling the funeral, but it also meant less revenue. Even worse, when impressed mourners told the family they enjoyed watching the tribute (on a TV the family brought from home), the family members often replied, “Yes, we got it from XYZ Funeral Home, isn’t it great?”

I agree that we’re moving from a merchandise-based industry to an experience-based one but it’s not going to happen overnight. The only way to do it, however, is to do it, and let people see it and appreciate it.

After all, we didn’t move from home-based funerals to funeral home-based funerals overnight either. There were a few families who gave the funeral home a shot, and it was only from others seeing it done, that they concept began to spread.

So yes Dale, I’d say we’re in for quite a ride.

My latest article, “Trade Show 101” is now available in the March/April 2008 issue of Funeral Business Advisor.

The article is part of their coverage of the ICCFA convention in San Deigo and provides advice for attendees and exhibitors alike.

You can read the article online by clicking here.  The magazine ships this week and should arrive in your mailbox in the coming days.  If you’re not a subscriber, visit their website and get added to the list; the subscription is free!

Dale Clock, of Clock Life Story Funeral Home in Michigan responds to Michelle Carter’s latest article “Is the Future Really So Grim?” 

Michelle:

You make some valid points.  The future isn’t that grim. But the future is going to be tough.  You are an independent funeral planner.  I’m guessing you don’t have much overhead but your car and a phone.  You take as much work as you can get but could always use more.  It’s easy to say “just do it’. Plan the fancy event, do the golf course, bring the favorite chair.  But the reality is it takes a lot of time and effort to do all of that.  It takes manpower, creativity and a whole different bunch of skill sets that most funeral directors don’t have.  It’s also a major challenge to do it day in and day out for firms of our size because “doing it” has to depend on a system and not just one person with a creative mind.  I agree that those kind of things need to be done but the hard part is transitioning to where we need to be from where we have been for so long a time.

I have 3 funeral homes in a Midwestern blue collar town, do 400 + calls a year, 7 vehicles, over 50,000 square feet of buildings ranging in age from 100 years old to 10, a staff of 20 plus people.  I have done receptions for 20 years (it’s good to do those but it’s not going to make you a ton of money).  Tried every casket show room setup there is.  I am now part of the Life Story Network which I really believe can transform funeral service.  And everyday is a struggle.  I have gone from 25% cremation to 50% cremation in 10 years.  I have trimmed my staff down to the bear minimum just to make ends meet while still trying to offer the latest and greatest that funeral service has to dish out.

My funeral directors are the best in the world.  They all have 20+ years experience and try their hardest to adapt to all the new stuff that I’m throwing at them.  The families absolutely gush over our Life Story experience and we all can see how meaningful it is to them.  But after days of typing in Life Story notes, scanning photo’s, burning DVD’s, printing color Life Story folders, downloading new music, setting up for receptions, cleaning up after the family spends a comfortable 2 hours in the reception center, putting cremains in jewelry, taking fingerprints for Thumbies, ordering customized urns from the 1000 choices in the catalogue…… in addititon to still doing all the other stuff we have always done like embalm bodies, dress and casket, meet with families, set up flowers, run visitations, conduct services , processions to the cemetery…. all most of us can do is collapse at home with an adult beverage and fall asleep in front of the TV.

It’s no wonder so many FD’s long for the old days when things were more routine and there weren’t so many options.  It’s not that we don’t want to do the new stuff.  It’s that we still have to do the old stuff in addition to the new stuff because we all serve such a broad range of people.  To do things right we almost need to split into two businesses; one that does things the old way and one that embraces the new stuff.  But at this time it seems impossible to separate things because there just isn’t enough volume or income.  It’s Catch 22…We need to do the new stuff to make money but we need more money to do the new stuff.

So the best we can do is hang in there while the funeral industry changes from a materialistic based income (casket, vaults and markers) to an emotional based income.  One where we get paid for helping preserve memories and creating experiences. And the sooner we can get the public to learn that there is value in those emotions. The sooner this will all happen.

Dale Clock
Clock Life Story Funeral Home

EDITOR’S NOTE:  When he submitted this letter, Dale was unaware that Michelle had recently taken a position as Assistant Manager of the E.O. Curry Funeral Home in Peekskill, NY.  She’s also sold her grief counseling center to focus on her work at the funeral home.